What It Means To ‘Lose.’

Look around you.

What do you see? Who do you see?

Right. We’re always around people. Family, friends, acquaintances, strangers.  Teachers, colleagues, fellow students. The friends you have, and the friends you haven’t met yet.

“Every person, all the events of your life, are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you.” said Richard Bach.

There are a lot of people around you, but only some who you choose to let in. Some of us have a hard time doing that. Others, not so much. But we all have people whom we trust and those who we confide in. What happens when they drift away? What happens when you lose them?

I’m going to tell you how this speech was triggered in me. It was a usual evening, and my little brother was attempting to do his homework. And like all little boys, he was struggling to find a good enough excuse to skip completing it.

“Ma! I lost my pencil case!”

I lost my pencil case…

At that time, they didn’t seem like really powerful words, or those that would leave an impression, but for some reason, those words kept echoing in the back of my mind. “Is it really losing?” I ended up asking myself. I mean, there are so many different interpretations and meanings of the word lose. It’s become a term we all use really loosely. If you ask someone else that question, they’ll simply nod their heads and move on. If you look it up in the dictionary, it’ll say, “to be deprived of or cease to have or retain (something).” If you ask me, I’ll say, “No.”

It is not losing. Most definitely not.  Losing has such a deeper meaning. Losing is when something or someone special to you is no longer a part of your life. A ‘lost’ pencil case is not lost. It is merely misplaced. Why do you want to use the word ‘lost’ when you can use ‘misplaced’ instead?

This is a common misconception that is becoming prevalent in society. We don’t look at the value of anything much anymore. Really. Think about it. Think about all the times you’ve said that you’ve lost something. A book? A pencil? Your headphones? Your temper? Probably.  But did it really mean anything? Probably not.

Have any of us ever stopped to think that there are people out there who are saying, “I lost someone.”? People out there are losing people. Losing a valuable presence in their life. Losing their trusted confidant. They are the ones who have gone through a loss. They are the ones who know what it really feels like. They are the real survivors of the painful phenomenon that is losing.

There is but one hallmark to distinguish losing from misplacing. Losing someone or something is accompanied with a lot of pain. It hurts tremendously. It feels like your heart’s being ripped right out. That’s when you can say you lost something.

Not when you misplace your book. Not when you misplace your pencil. Not when you misplace your headphones.

You can’t equate the value of the things you misplace to the value of the things or people you lose.

Because it hurts. 

Catch you later!

Niru ❤

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